I don't think you're ready.

A couple of weeks ago we had an email go around at work about some upcoming shows that Beyonce was doing at Roseland Ballroom for which we could request tickets. The shows were billed as An Intimate Night with Beyonce, and given that B is used to selling out arenas like Madison Square Garden, this would be a pretty unique opportunity.

I immediately texted Karrie, knowing that she had been planning to take the bus home to Virginia that weekend but also convinced that she was the perfect guest for this event.

L: So you are like definitely definitely going to VA next week right? Because I just got Beyonce tickets from work for Thursday.
K: Omg. Wait. This changes everything.


Soon after that, her original plans were canceled and we were composing outfit ideas. Karrie's main strategy was to "sparkle like a sexy baby on Toddlers & Tiaras" which, I think, was both wise and appropriate. I briefly considered wearing a sequined vest that I had borrowed from a friend at work, but in the end I just couldn't pull it off.


We got to the venue around the time the doors opened to see a line snaking around the entire city block. Eventually we made it inside, got our VIP wristbands for the mezzanine (perks!), and staked out a pretty great spot with a nice view of the stage. A few minutes before showtime, the peasants down on the floor started making excited noises and pointing their cameras toward the part of the mezzanine near the side of the stage. We squinted through the darkness and Karrie nearly hyperventilated, pointing out the be-headdressed figure of Lady Gaga being escorted to her seat.


Beyonce herself came out around 10pm and did her thing for a solid hour and a half in a sparkly gold minidress (proving that Karrie had the right idea all along). She did little snippets of all the old favorites from Destiny's Child (which took me back to memories of junior high and high school) and then moved on to some of the solo hits before focusing on stuff from her new album.




We sang along and pondered the meaning of "Bootylicious" and danced until our little high-heeled feet felt like they would fall off. And for the record, Gaga was dancing and fist-pumping with the best of them.

Confession.

Last night I did something I thought I never would in my entire life.

I'm not proud of it. I managed to get through 5 years living in Utah without it happening.

I attended a country music concert.

We were offered tickets to the Lady Antebellum show through work, and knowing that my friend loves them intensely, I got them. Because I am a really good person.

I might have danced a little. And possibly sung along to that one song that I know (and that, okay, I have on my iPod). And only once mocked the lead guy's many entreaties that we "get this party started".

It was actually kind of fun. Please don't judge me.

Conditions are perfect.

Last night I attended my second Flight of the Conchords concert. While I don't think anything can top the amazing events of last year's show, it was an awesome night and we had a fabulous time.





My date for the night was my friend Greg. Thanks to his Halloween costume, he conveniently had a Bret sweater to wear to the show. Please note that our seats were 5th row center. Radio City is huge, and we kept joking about how we were going to have to get water bottles and take breaks for our hike all the way to the front of the venue. After the show we turned around, and the actors who play Mel's husband and Todd (from the Crazy Dogggz) were about 4 rows behind us. They are on the show, and their seats weren't even as good as ours.



Kristen Schaal opened with some stand-up, and was very weird but funny. She was rocking some sparkly gold shorts that I really want.



During the first song, Bret was playing a red toy piano, and near the end he knocked the stool it was on and it fell and broke. Jemaine started laughing and said, "I guess that's the end of the song." A crew guy ran out to replace it with another one, and Jemaine was like, "Yis, we spared no expense on the budget for tiny pianos." The keys from the first one were all over the stage, and they would periodically pick them up and throw them into the audience.



Their banter between songs was, of course, hilarious. They also had great interaction with the audience. At one point someone shouted out "Where's Murray?" and we got this exchange:

Jemaine: Murray is a fictional character. What you should have asked was something like, "Where is the actor, Rhys Darby, who portrays Murray on your show?" And the answer would be, "In Auckland, New Zealand."

Bret: Maybe you should go and find him. Go stand outside his house and yell "band meeting!" It'll be like a secret joke between you and him. Don't tell anyone else I told you.

Jemaine [after someone yelled out "Where's Dave?"]: Stop asking for the whereabouts of all the people we know! How would you like me to shout at you and be like, "Hey, where is your... niece?"

And then when some guy kept trying to yell stuff to them...

Jemaine: You can't just try to have a conversation with us when we're here on the stage. Have you ever been to a show before?

Bret: Stop shouting at us! Have you any idea how ridiculous your voice sounds? You sound like an angry muppet!



Jemaine playing a little xylophone on "If You're Into It."

Anyway, it was a great night!

EDIT: At the advice of my attorney, I have removed a hilarious video that may or may not have been recorded by someone of the redheaded persuasion at the aforementioned concert. If such a video does, in fact, exist and if a person were at all interested in viewing it, said person would be welcome to contact me and I might be able to provide that person with the means to enjoy such a hypothetical video. In theory.

Ryan started the fiiiiiiiire!

Tonight I was in attendance at the last ever concert at Shea Stadium, starring one William Joel (have I mentioned that I love my job?). Musical guest appearances included Garth Brooks singing "Shameless", Steven Tyler rocking "Walk This Way", and Roger Daltrey doing "My Generation" (during which Mr. Joel smashed his guitar). Tony Bennett and Billy Joel did a duet of "New York State of Mind" and I figured it was probably one of the coolest moments I would ever witness at a concert.

And then Sir Paul McFreakingCartney came on stage to the deafening cheers of 50,000 fans, and the two of them sang "Let It Be" as the final encore and totally blew my mind.

I can die happy.

This is going to be long, and probably won't interest you if you don't love Flight of the Conchords. Also, I recommend imagining all of their quotes in a New Zealand accent in order to get the full effect.

So, the show opened with a voiceover from backstage between Todd "Crazy Doggs" Barry (from the season finale episode) and Jemaine. Todd was indignant that everyone was here to see the Conchords and he was just the opener, which Jemaine rationalized by explaining that they are taller, which is why everyone likes them more. Heh. Someone yelled out "Yeah BRET!" and Todd was like, "I think they're confused about which of you is talking." Anyway, Todd's standup act was pretty funny. Someone yelled out "Arf! Arf!" about a minute into his set, and he was like, "I'm surprised it took that long." Heh.

I was so excited when the boys came out, I can't even explain it to you. Megan said she felt like a little girl (we weren't sitting together, unfortunately) and I agree. There was a strictly enforced rule against picture-taking in the theatre, so I didn't really get any good shots since security was patrolling the aisles. Anyway, their banter between songs was hilarious, and they added little bits into certain songs to keep them fresh and awesome, which to me is the best part of any concert. I wrote down the set list on an old tithing receipt I had in my purse (it was awesome trying to decipher my scribblings later, since it was completely dark in the theatre...):

Inner City Pressure
Most Beautiful Girl
Think About It
New song (it was about their ex-girlfriends and what they would complain about)
Motha'uckas
A Kiss Is Not A Contract
Free Bird
Hiphopopotamus v. Rhymenocerous
Jenny
Bret You've Got It Goin' On
Robots
If You're Into It
Not Crying
Business Time
Albi
New song (I think it's called "I Told You I Was Freaky")
Ladies of the World

Encore:
Bus Driver Song
Angels



Random details:
- After "Inner City Pressure", people kept screaming for either Bret or Jemaine, and Jemaine pointed out that it was "like a debate at the United Nations." They also talked about how New York is better than the original York, because in the inner city of York it's still legal to shoot a Scotsman with a crossbow.
- An extra line to "Beautiful" - "like a nice piece of crockery... or a tasteful Persian rug."
- They talked about their set list, which was a crumpled piece of paper on the table between them, and which Bret said looked more like a flow chart than an actual list. He was like, "It should say, 'Did that song go well? Yis - proceed to this song.'"
- At one point, a bunch of girls started screaming about their love for Bret, and Jemaine looked sad, so Bret got all the men in the audience to shout "We love Jemaine!"
- "Free Bird" was a shouted request from the audience - Jemaine played and sang the first few lines and then gave up, saying he needed to learn it. Throughout the show, people yelled out "Free Bird!" a few more times, and each time he would play the same few bars and everyone would cheer. He was like, "It gets the same reaction every time!"
- "Hiphopopotamus" was another yelled request among many others, but was the only one that drew unanimous cheers throughout the crowd. Bret called the guy who shouted it a "dynamic leader." Also, there were a few extra bars of interlude before the second rap verse because Bret forgot the words, haha.
- "Bret You've Got It Goin' On" was sung by Jemaine while Bret curled up in his own guitar case on the ground because he was tired and felt down about his body issues.
- On the second new song, Bret played the keytar and came down into the audience, and got so into it that he accidentally hit the "demo" button and it started playing "Last Christmas" by Wham. He got back up on stage and complained that it had ruined his solo, and then they let it keep playing while they sat there and talked a little.
- Near the end of the show, people got a little more reckless with their picture-taking (not even turning off their flashes, etc.) and Bret and Jemaine started posing for some people in the closer rows. When a bunch of flashes went off, Bret was like, "There they are, get 'em!" and said he should get a yellow Security jacket.

After the show, we waited for about an hour by the stage door with some other fans for them to come out (thanks to Megan for waiting with me and not mocking me for being such a fangirl), and we were rewarded! They actually came out a different door, but we kind of swarmed them, heh. Bret seemed a little more shy than Jemaine, but they were both really nice as they signed autographs and took pictures with the 20-30 fans that had waited. I'm sure it must have been a little overwhelming. When I got my picture with Jemaine and asked him to flip the bird at my camera, he said, "What kind of bird?" I told him whichever kind he liked best. After we took the picture I was like, "Thank you so much, and sorry we are kind of crazy!" and he said, "That's okay, you can't help it." Hee. No, no I cannot.

Anyway, it was an amazingly fun night! I don't think anything will top that for a long time.

Flippin' the bird.

A full update to come, but I'm way too giddy and tired right now to be coherent. Suffice it to say, my expectations were met and exceeded. I think this pretty much sums it up:

"OMG SPICE GIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRLS!!!!!"

That exclamation from a young lady as we entered the arena pretty much sums up my night. It was jam-packed with sparkly costumes, supergay backup dancers, and about 10,000 14-year-old girls dressed like prostitutes. It was amazing. (Did I mention we were in the fourth row? We were in the fourth row. Our tickets were worth $150 EACH.)

If you want to see pictures (and I know you do, Dad), I posted some on Facebook. I say "some" because I actually took about 60. I figured it would be best to just go with a sampling.

Greatest. Night. EVER!