Saturday, February 23, 2008

I'm just resting my eyes.

Jerry Seinfeld has a bit where he talks about how people will stay up late even when they're ridiculously tired, just to continue seeking entertainment. As he says, "The finger that hits the button on the remote control is the last part of the human body to fall asleep." This phenomenon seems to happen to me quite frequently. Sometimes it's with the TV - I'm too tired to actually GET UP and go to bed, so I will just sit there and see what else I have on TiVo. Most of the time, though, it's with the internet. I've finished checking my email, I've stalked everyone I can possibly think of on Facebook, nobody has updated their blog in the last 5 minutes, and yet for some reason I can't bring myself to just close my laptop and go to sleep. (Very often I am actually in bed while using my laptop, which makes the whole situation even more ludicrous.)

Anyway, as a result of this, I usually come across a lot of entertaining ways to waste time, usually in the form of hilarious blogs and/or YouTube videos. I figure Jerry and I are not the only people with this late-night-entertainment predicament, so if you run out of things to do, here's my new favorite thing: Stuff White People Like. I don't think it really needs any further description. (A side effect of doing this sort of thing late at night is that everything seems ten times funnier when you're insanely tired. Something to keep in mind.)

Some highlights:

Kitchen Gadgets - "If you end up buying one of these for a white person, your card should make reference to them using it a lot to make beautiful food that you hope you can eat one day. This kind of stuff goes over like gang busters." [Side note: I think Sarah has almost every gadget mentioned in that entry.]

Study Abroad - "If you need to make up your own study abroad experience, they all pretty much work the same way... [talk about how] you acquired a taste for something (local food, beer, fruit). This latter point is important because you will need to be able to tell everyone how it is unavailable in your current country."

Recycling - "Though for many white people, this simply means putting plastic bags into a special drawer where they will accumulate until they are eventually used to carry some gym clothes or bathing suit. Ultimately this drawer will get full and only be emptied when the person moves to a new house. Advanced white recyclers will uses these grocery bags as garbage bags."

Enjoy. I hope that I have been able to contribute, even in some small way, to your insomnia.


  1. heh, funny. ooh, i'm an advanced white recycler...never studied abroad...maybe my asianess wouldn't allow it? heh

    i too waste too too too much time on the internet...but it seems like you've at least found humorous sites to pass your time.

  2. I am EXACTLY the same. I can never just close my stupid computer. I love looking at eBay. Sometimes I seriously contemplate a computer-addiction rehab.

    RE: your last post, I am really glad you didn't spell spice girls "gurls" ... although that would have been funny.

  3. Ha, I am also an "advanced white recycler." Woo! That's really really funny. I'm sure you can relate to the Study Abroad thing ;)

  4. Hey Laura - I'm enjoying your blog and hearing about your adventures. I was reading this post Monday night and the next day I heard this segment on "Talk of the Nation" - I guess listening to NPR is pretty white. People were calling in with their additions to the White People blog - I especially liked mushroom hunting.



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