I was talking to a friend on the phone the other day, and he asked me how it felt to be here in New York, living on my own, etc. I've thought about this question a lot over the last month or so, and really the only answer I can come up with is that it's good. When I was growing up, my mom would make fun of me for always answering with "good" whenever my piano teacher asked how my practicing had gone that week. But that was the honest answer! Not fabulous, not terrible, just good. And that's how it is now. Not fabulous, not terrible, just good. The truth is, that word encompasses a lot that is maybe too hard to explain.
This is something I've wanted to do for a long time. I don't know why, I just got it into my head one day that I would move to New York, and after that I couldn't imagine doing anything else. And it's all worked out surprisingly well so far. I have a job that, while not always glamorous, is one that I really enjoy and is actually in my desired field, which is more than a lot of people can say. I have great, fun roommates and a nice apartment. I'm slowly meeting and getting to know more people at church. And I love feeling like an actual real adult now (even if it does still feel a little bit like playing house).
But it's definitely different, as I knew it would be. I miss being able to walk down the hall to do laundry. I miss jumping in my car to run a quick errand or stop by at a friend's house. I miss having my "people" nearby - family and close friends. I don't really have people here yet. But I know it just takes time, so for now I'm okay with feeling a little lonely every now and then, or wanting to just look at pictures or watch the Hills' Christmas video and maybe cry a little bit sometimes. Because that's kind of the way I feel whenever a big change happens - I take some time to feel overwhelmed, and then continue settling in to my new environment. Because every morning when I walk out my front door I feel really, really glad I'm here, and I can honestly say that I know this is where I'm supposed to be.
So he asked, "How does it feel to be in New York?" And I just said, "Good."